★ blog for lovers (murmurings of transcendence) ★

10/21/25 lol
"I'm gonna marry you
just gotta get a ring
I just gotta get more money so I can compete
I'm gonna love you tonight (I bet you'd like that)
You just gotta act right
You need to behave
You need to be trained"

He said “maybe you’ll find a man in New Orleans
Maybe you’ll find a man in Sicily”
Honey, that’s guaranteed
Still you could have just said
“You won’t find him in me”

Funny wasn’t I in Sicily looking at land with you to grow truer on
Funny didn’t I want you to come with me to New Orleans
Not so funny how you made jokes I’d end up with one of your friends
Maybe baby you could have just said

"I’m never gonna marry you
I’m too insecure
Too predestined to run
Honey girl close the door"

And it’s true I finally drew
My moon in the sand
I got nothing to prove
I won’t and I can’t

I’m gonna find a band in New Orleans
Baby I’ll find some land in Sicily
I know now I could have just said
I will and I can

10/18/25 only
love. and I do
love you

How far, vastly far and wide, does a simple "I can see why you'd feel that way" said to oneself go.
And where are we going?
To sail every sea.
Why? Because we should?
Because we want to.

10/17/25 Earth
To feel wholly one with the Earth for even one moment in time is worth incarnating. Worth a whole life of any kind. I feel homeless before I put my face in the grass and smell home. Earth shows me her love for me. She tells me that I didn't fail her. I never could. She embraces me and rocks me like I am her child. In her embrace I feel redeemed. I feel new with freedom from the shackles of proving myself. Turn over and face the night sky. See the stars. I feel the Earth support me entirely, unconditionally. She loves me holy.

10/11/25 Don't be (that kind of) silly
Baby. Don't try to convince me you don't love what I know that you love. All I have to do is look at you candidly once as you exist and I know that you do in fact... love what you love. It used to work on me-- when you would say "I am one way," but I know now you are also the other and there is no inbetween.

10/5/25 Autumn
There’s a missive for you
Ever scribing in my heart
There’s a fire and a rainstorm dancing
Nothing pulls them apart

10/1/25 Humanity
Bless those who stay kind
Those who tell their friends
They adore them
We need more of them

Bless the lover who says goodbye
Without pointing a finger
She says "thank you
For the time I did call you mine"

I’m one foot off the Rhinecliff bridge
Bless the one who takes a step back
Maybe this is on me
To give the love I wish I had

9/26/25 No stipulation
If you come to me saying you want to be a firefighter
I will adopt for you a dalmation
If you run to me saying you love purple
I will make you lavender tea
If you tell me you cannot feel your own love
I will light the wood in the fireplace near where you sleep
If you fall in love with painting fruit
I will take the frames off the walls so you may paint oranges on the house
If you cry that I have betrayed you
I will hear you and see what you see
If you love me through the eyes of a man
I will know the man
If you sing to me through the sun burning hot
I will sweat

9/25/25 Living by the sea (the threshold guardian)
I see myself at the ocean with a lamp in my hand
You are walking to me through the fog, the grayness
You pretend to be a moth just to recognize the light
But your clothes are beautiful, tailored for you
Your walk is a dance, a stampede of buffalo and deer
Across the plains
This is a silent film
Without words you approach me
Nose to nose I am here to hold
The light lightly
Without singing your song hums by me
I face the land
You pass
To the sea
Having been seen
By brown eyes in lamplight in the nearing-black twilight and salt mist
For what you are
An infinite last time

9/22/25 Heart
I’m not going to mold your heart like play-doh. It’s way too beautiful on its own. What agenda could be a good reason to manhandle your heart? Your heart is so beautiful I want to surrender my agendas just to look at it. If there is anything in me that cannot appreciate it, may that be what is reshaped. To be near it. To hear it beating.

9/20/25 What's god if we are not god
I can’t receive the fruits of trees of seeds I plant if I believe every tree alive grew from seeds someone else planted. If I believe every seed I scattered was in vain. If I believe I am separate from an external directive.

9/12/25 You never miss
Forget right and wrong. Meet me somewhere more interesting. You're there.

9/8/25 A Saylor apple
The orchard at the Saylor's house is surrounded by a tall wooden fence with two large gates. They don't eat fruit that hits the ground. The Gravensteins grow golden plump and never sweet. Their skins are like paintings of the sunset turned on their side. Each one smiles at you, but never seems to mind whether you choose them or their neighbor. The tree itself smiles at you. You step up into its bountiful branches and hang and grow big until gravity takes your skin, just residue of the plant itself.

9/6/25 Peel
We were sitting on the road near a bridge in Tivoli, Italy above the river. She was peeling an orange with candy pink painted nails. There was a pile of rinds growing on the stone beneath her feet. I could smell the expression of citrus from 4 feet away, bent over my calves, caressing my blisters as if to heal them before we stood up again. I remember shackles around my heart chakra and a civil war taking place in every other. Plants weren't dead- it was Spring. But to me then, everything was a reminder of the temporal impermanance of this body and its experiences I hadn't yet allowed myself to smile at it. Always a scorn. What hung around my heart hung off my face and dripped down my thighs yearning.

I could feel a shift in perspective bubbling up my throat. I breathed into it, reluctant to pave new pathways to old dreams, to see new movies on old, old screens. From each, there is no true return to what in us lept on beaches and kissed our lovers before. You can drown yourself trying or you can get orange peel under your fingernails.

9/4/25 Unfoolish devotion
I have loved you all along
From the day we met
Every remark
of how beautiful you are
How irresistible your beauty
I crawled into each one of those arrows
Pointed at your heart
And hoped to land smack dab
I am no fool for seeing your flame
And dancing near it
May it light me
May it fan mine
How could I love you if I feared you?
Come walk with me
When you grow weary
I will remind you where our compass points
To the depths
Of each other
You will go to the depth of yourself and find mountaintops
And I am the one who will not forget who you are

9/4/25 A case of you
I could write novels for a century’s people of all the things I long to say to you. I could tell a hundred stories, a story for each year, of my love in different forms, in different genders, across the world in divine places. Everyone wouldn’t be able to put them down. They’d replace phones. They’d be freedom to a world of pain, cool, clear water to the inflamed. My love pushes my blood all around my body with affection for you. Fear tries to make me drunk with it, but how can I be drunk from my own blood? Bottle after case after page after dance to a sad record to a happy one, I am in love with you. My trust parks me at home in my love. Fear like a snake bites at my ankles snipping “run, woman, flea” to you, away from me. When I am with you to escape myself it comes again, “run, woman, flea” to the woods, away from you. Home is much nicer than that parade. My windows are adorned with every shade of love and my piano has every key in tact, in place, some cracked, in tune. When I play it you come in from wherever you are to hear me, to be near me, to love what you love and to be loved.

9/4/25 Golden bathtub
Take a bath in a golden bathtub
Allow yourself to love
That which
Those whom
you love.
Wash your attachment clean
Feel tenderness soothe you true to be
your love of all things

All songs play in the golden bathtub
All of you knows home there
Finally grief, that weeping woman posed willow
You loved to paint but could not wed
Loosen your tangles
As you reach your hand to her and dance

9/3/25 Moonrise
Don't forget to watch the
moon rise
sometimes
open your heart as she ascends
she has much to say
she will say it to you
and you will know a friend

9/2/25 Didn't keep a "keeper"
I was dancing. The waves were huge, fluffy, white, wild and delicious salty wedding cake frosting. All of a sudden there she was. She was belly up, tossed about by the big waves. Her legs were running on the air, sprawling towards the sky. I realized how different life would be as a crab. Of course, under water she would not have the problem of capsizing, but in the open air where there is no barrier between her and gravity she laid there vulnerable to birds of prey which sweep their eyes, wings, beaks and talons over this beach all day long. I ran for something to flip her over with. I found a dead crab shell. I ran back to her and gently returned her legs to the sand. She looked at me. She was gorgeous and big. People here would say she’s “legal” because she had grown large enough to catch, kill and eat. I couldn’t think of it. I thought she would run to the sea. Instead she moved her legs about in place to bubble herself down into the wet sand until only the very top of her hard shell was exposed to the air. Home. Alive. Living a crab experience. Wow, I loved her.

9/1/25 To see the truth
Kept a distance
Looked at it
From every angle
In every season
Read every omen
Climbed every mountain
Danced all the dances
In the forest
On my own

What's a lie
Without the truth

8/31/25 Feathered lover
Doubt is a doorway
Fear a keyhole
Love’s your step and key
Laughter a painting on the wall
In my house you have
Your own wing
A wing for every heart without a home
Winged heart
Its as good a time as any to fly
Feathered lover
Feathered hello goodbye

8/28/25 Reunited
found you
all
by the smell of a rose

kissed you
all
by the sound of the waves

loved you
all
by the light of the moon

8/27/25 Sweet willow
I searched every grain of sand
They whispered lullabies falling from my hands
Come back
I made lavender tea
Come have
It with me
A bee loves a clover
Your rounded leaves
Your purple flowers

I cried into the tide pools
Told the hermit crabs to keep an eye out for you
My soul
Come back
I put on silk
Come dance
In it with me
A hawk flies free
Your midnight hour
Your mourning tree

When will you weep for me, sweet willow?
When will you turn rock?
When will you steal into my pillow
Eucalyptus
Pulled teeth
Fairy queen
I am nothing
Nothing good for mankind or the aliens
Without you

8/24/25 My baby just cares for me
I love a thousand years of you in one minute
My fingers belong in your hair
How gorgeous my heart beats bolder to see you
I weather every storm, I sing through the drought
With grace
I dance because the light of knowing you ignites every cell
With a will to live
Alive to love you

8/22/25 Ornithology
Every face
The hitchhiker's face
Is the face of god
I did think I might die
If I pick him up
But just a week ago
I was stranded and trusted by angels
He talked the whole ride
Of the subtleties of oceanography
Compulsively, but not without beatific interest
I could relate
When he got out of the truck
He handed me a beginner's guide to ornithology
Signed by him
He pointed out how aerodynamic the barn sparrow is

8/20/25 Tell me your North Star
How is it going focusing on what you don't want? Tell me what gets you up in the morning.

8/19/25 See beauty
It’s the kind of beauty you at first feel let in on a secret to see. Next it’ll have you feeling like you committed a crime to see it alone. Then it’ll leave you wondering if it ever happened if someone didn’t see you see it. Later you’ll be looking at the world with the same eyes that got let in on a secret and someone will see that secret in your eyes.

The outdoor cat sleeps behind my legs in bed now. What a beautiful thing it is to be given the trust of something wild.

8/16/25 To eat a beached shark
The salt mist moves in through the trees like people dressed in white treading lightly, filing in swiftly to the rows of velvet theater seats before a show. The sky is gray. The ocean roars. That's a sound I wish every person could hear, and yet I’m happy to have it alone and to myself. It is the sound of life itself... all waves melded together into a roar from a few hundred feet inland. I went to the beach this evening just before sunset. The water was glassy like my eyes in the mirror in the morning after I get enough sleep. The whole thing felt like a good night's sleep, especially the smell of sea things, which is to me the smell of soul itself. A steady 5 layers of 5 foot swell billowed in like the sheets and blankets of a messy bed dressed with puffy white cotton. Salt and pepper sand. Frigid water. The kind that gives your brainfreeze via your feet in 3 seconds. The blissful kiss of the late sun. A dozen buzzards posed on the golden dunes with their wings extended. They were taking turns flying down to the waterline to eat a beached shark. Yes, its that kind of beach. Wild, miles, empty. In the distance a thin sheet of fog sits below the dark green mountainous treeline. Yes, its that kind of beach. Haunting, symphonic.

8/16/25 The cat speaks soul
The cat wants to play now every night since I taught her how house cats play. Her coat has burs. She is strong. She finds me wherever I am on the estate at dusk to say "its time. Wear me out, woman." She isn't multi-lingual: she just speaks soul like we all do. Funny, I love her just the same.

8/15/25 Timelessness
Truth is timeless. True art doesn’t mold. I bathe in starlight asking the divinity within me to reveal and remove what untruth has caked itself onto my eyes. At times I tug on the fog as it rises from my body, nostalgic for story. Oh. But the captivity of a lie doesn’t evoke true melancholy. A singer who stops at longing sings not of love, but the lack of love they have for themselves. A lover who asks you to prove yourself may feel you deeply in their soul, but loves you from limit. But whoever stands before themselves and says “yes" is both tender and powerful. What is more beautiful than truth? What is more beautiful than a soul who loves? Not who claims to love, but who is love. Time may try to wrap itself around her only to grasp at the wind.

8/14/25 Megalithic driftwood
I want off the internet and into my
psyche with my bare hands
Wanna shove my face into its flowers
my toes into its sand
I want off the internet and into my
soul, butt naked in the wind
Wanna baptize myself in the mist
of its waterfalls I dance

I want out of your hate and into cedar
Out of your gaze and into silk
Burn all the ways I stayed afraid
I fall, I fly, I want off your stilts

Forget the date, place, names
Its all the same
Burn your pain and games for love
Be love
Be it now and see all things

8/12/25 Hózhóogo naasháa doo
As within, so without. Says the emerald tablet. So, what's for dinner? Your soul. On a platter. How... disgusting. As without, so within. You mean that broken-hearted, half-numbed-out carcuss that got me into this mess? Oh, my sweet, sweet heart. Dear beloved inner one who I never learned how to hold close and rock like a baby to dream. Yes, you carcuss. I love you just like that. I love you when your favorite person prefers their life without you in it. I love you when no one picks up the phone. I love you fat. I love you when you got the sticky kind of attention. Yes, then, too. This, too. You are a rose, darling berry. You are an entire abundant bramble of sea roses spanning white to Persian pink twisting upwards in the sea mist on a cliff jutting out into the ever-speaking blue tourmaline sea waves. I love you. I LOVE you. I love you.