Fantasies. Excessive fame. Perfection. Excessive alone time. Mystery. You name it.
Childhood. We split our soul off into fantasies about who we are, what our lives need to look like, and then we continue our lives governed by those ideals.
To what do you cling? What would achieving it give you?
Feelings. Feelings are fickle and manifestations of ideas much deeper, yet so many of us stop at them. The only way to get what you want without utter disappointment of finding out that it too is a stale place of death, is to arrive with curiosity and wonder, or having already given yourself what you expected from it in the first place. This is the process of developing your core values, pillars to live by, your internal scale of morality, which makes you a autonomous person and partner. It returns sensation to your hands where anxiety previously robbed you.
Similarly, from what do you run? What would it mean for your nightmares to come true? Whether you’re running towards or from something, information is there.
Relationships. What do you glorify? Does it stand in the way of vulnerability in your life or show up as a third (sometimes fourth or fifth) party in moments of intimacy? Does it give you writer’s block or wake you up at 4 in the morning?
Our needs, dreams and desires are powerful teachers in that if you can extract what it is you unconsciously expect from achieving them, you have a framework for what to develop in yourself. It is also only then that we can truly be available to another… from stage, in bed, on the phone… as to stand on your own two feet with awareness of each of your toes is to be available to yourself – and I wish nothing less than that courage to anyone reading this.